Improving your listening skills

listening is the most important skill needed to get things done. The first step to improve listening process is to understand the nature of listening..

Content listening

Its primary purpose is to understand and retain the speaker's message. The emphasis is on information and its understanding. It does not involve evaluation.

Critical listening

Its purpose is to understand and evaluate the meaning of the speaker's message. The evaluation may be done on several levels like logic of the argument, strength of witness, implication of the message to you and speaker motives.

Empathic listening

Its purpose is to understand the speaker's feelings, needs and wants in order to appreciate his/her point of view, regardless of weather you share that perspective. While empathic listening avoids judgement, jumping to the advice because sometimes all needed by an upset person is to have someone to listen.

Active listening

Its purpose is to make a conscious effort to turn off your own fitters and biases and truly understand what the other party is saying. Ask questions to verify the key points and encourage the speaker through the body language.

Improving listening strategies

1) Control External and Internal Distractions

Eradicate the external distractions by moving to an area where you can hear without disturbing noises and conversations. Internally, try to focus on what the speaker is saying. Postpone any serious listening when you are emotionally upset.

2) Separate facts from opinions 

Facts are truths known to exists like Earth revolves around the sun. Opinions are statements of personal judgments or preferences like 'Microsoft stock is always a good investment'. listeners must always evaluate opinions/assertions to decide their validity by considering weather speakers are  speaking within their areas of competence. Don't automatically accept assertions as fact.

3) Identify Important facts

After the speakers mix up important information with casual conversation your task is to select what's important and register in your mind.

4) Don't Interrupt

Good listeners let speakers have their say because interruptions may prevent you from having the correct point view of speaker. Avoid quick reply or opinion and non-verbal disagreements like negative head shaking, rolling eyes and audible sighs.

5) Paraphrase to increase understanding

Rephrase and summarize the message in your own words to make sure you understand what has been said. You should prevent showing how mindless the speaker's words sound when parroted, your soul purpose is to first understand.

6) Take notes to ensure retention

Don't trust your memory. During important conversations, make a mental note of important items and write them down as soon as possible.

7)  Ask clarifying questions

Good listeners wait for the proper moment and then ask questions that do not attack the speaker. Instead of saying "but i don't understand how you can say that" . Say "please help me understand by explaining more about ... " because questions can put you in driver's seat, think about them in advance.